Problems as necklaces

We went on a hike, eleven plus me so we were a dozen. I longed to ask which is the beloved disciple John, but knew no one would reply, thinking I am an odd one and of course they are partly right. I often have thoughts which have allusions in them and no one can follow the allusions. Mention Laurence Olivier nowadays and people look blankly at you. One can go on telling stories of course, one can make them up, confident that no one can contradict.
Say it with authority and a smart accent and you're home free. People are easily taken in and react to the surface. Of course that's alright as one can control the situation but when one looks for someone to surprise, to astonish, to intrigue, these are rarer than those hen's teeth. Go on say something.. Tell me a story. Etonnez-moi. Alack, it doesn't happen. One sets out with high hopes and as so often happens both with life and especially with people one finds dull dross, sad aspirations and problems. Of course how many of your friends do you know who wear their problems like a river of diamonds around their neck, proud of the grief and anxiety. By their problems shall ye know them. The problems make them interesting. So they think poor dears.

There is in fact little or nothing there. Sad, sad, sad.

I love that quotation from Lady Caroline Lamb about Byron "Mad,bad and dangerous to know." One still longed to meet him.